Day 3: Couch to 5K

Hello. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Carol. For those who do, it’s Bond. James Bond.

So the usual routine happened today. Got home from work, stretched, started running. Mom and I did the same practice as we did Wednesday:

Warm Up- 5 mins
Run 1 min/ Walk 1.5 mins- 8 times (for real this time)
Cool down- 5 mins

Unfortunately for me, a weird turn of events unfolded before the run even started, threatening the completion of our mission: cramping. I will preface this anecdote by mentioning that I forgot to stretch on my relax day yesterday. Well… no, I didn’t forget. I just didn’t want to, because I’m lazy. So really, I had this coming to me.

As I was stretching, I decided it would be a great idea to do some weird leg motion to rotate my hip joint, because that’s were it usually hurts after I finish running. Please refer to the gif below to get an idea of what I was trying to accomplish.

I get through two repetitions of my stretch, when suddenly, I am overcome with pain. Searing hot pain that makes it uncomfortable to even walk, let alone run! I am practically on all fours when realizes what is going on and, like the good mother she is, asks “What’s wrong?” Tears are in my eyes at this point. The world around me seems to be spinning and all I can see is the vague image of my concerned mother. I look up long enough to say…

“BUTT CRAMP!”

Yes. You read that right. I had a butt cramp. Think Charley Horse, but worse, because it was on the left side of my butt. The only thing to which I can compare the pain would be that one time I broke my leg sliding down a kiddie slide at the YMCA. Someone once told me that exaggeration was a very American thing to do. I WISH I could say I’m exaggerating right now, but it was the same feeling of helplessness, embarrassment, and, of course, pain.

So there I was, wincing in pain and rolling on the floor trying to get it to stop, and what does my mom do? She looked at me for 2 seconds and burst out laughing. In her defense, she didn’t know if I was laughing or crying, so she did the one thing that made sense to her in that situation: laugh. Watching her laugh made me laugh, which didn’t help my predicament. Once she regained her composure (it took a couple minutes), this is how the conversation went:

Mom: Why don’t you stretch it out?
Me: I can’t.
Mom: Walk it out, Carol.
Me: I can’t, Mom.
Mom: Do you want to sit down inside?
Me: I CAN’T MOVE!
Mom: Why don’t you do that same stretch again? Maybe it will help.
Me: Then I would have pain on both sides of my butt!
Mom: Let’s go inside for a bit.
Me: Oh man… this is gonna hurt.

I finally limped inside with my tail between my half-mobile legs and collapsed on the couch to wallow in self-pity. The only thing I could get out of my mouth was “This is gonna be great for the blog” (#doitfortheblog I’m starting it). After a good 5 hours (maybe exaggeration is an American thing…), the pain subsided and I had a new appreciation for life after my near-death experience. I was ready to keep going and run further and faster than ever before!

Our Day 3 run went well apart from the sharp-shooting pain in my butt. Fortunately, the running portions seem to go by quicker than the past two days. However, I’ve realized that I look down a lot the more tired I become. I need to practice looking straight ahead from now on.

Note to self: Relax your hands and shoulders, look straight ahead toward your goal, and avoid butt cramps.

Until Day 4,

Carol B

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